Just Keep Running

Topic: Share a story from your college years!

I have TWO! I'll share the other one about student teaching tomorrow! 

Just keep running… Just keep running….

I told my roommate, Jackie, “If I’m up tomorrow, I promise I’ll run the 5k with you.” 

I thought that was a pretty safe promise of not having to run, until my mom called at 7am in the morning inviting me to join her at my sister's track meet 2 hours away, later in the day. 

“MOM! Why didn’t you tell me? I have to work! I would have gotten a sub”

“We’ll I’m telling you now, sweetie.”

I lay in bed for a bit, deciding if I could make it to watch my sister and still make it back for work. I tired to go back to bed, but I was wide awake. 

With a sudden cringe, I remembered my promise. 

I hadn’t worked out in weeks. 

I went downstairs and found Jackie. She was excited to see me up.

“Are you going to run?” Jackie asked

“Ok. This is the deal. You find me some spandex and I’ll run.”

“Spandex?”

“You did tell me this was a Halloween 5K, right? And there was a prize for the best dressed runner, right?” 

I might as well look like a fool if I was going to run like one. Jackie found me some purple spandex which I paired with a blue swim suit and a purple super-hero towel cape. I was ready. We arrived at the 5k the only people wearing costumes. 

Jackie was wearing a Rastafarian hat which she took off when we got there. I eventually found a girl with cat ears and whiskers.  We picked up our race numbers and a map of the course. I immediately began to plan how I was going to cheat and skip parts of the course. At some point I got yelled at by some hardcore person because my number was on wrong. 

Did you hear me? I’m going to CHEAT!!! Muhahaha.

The race began and I couldn’t wait until the pack would spread out a little so I could walk and plan out how I was going to cheat. This took a little while, but just as I was planning my escape route, I heard from behind me,

“Watch out! I’m going to get you!”

I looked behind me to see one of the school’s Business professors.

“Today is my 60^th birthday and I’ve never felt better.”

Oh. God. 

And thus began a fight for my life and a race for my pride. I was not about to be beat by a semi out of shape 60 year-old man.  Even as a semi out of shape 22 year old girl, I WAS going to beat him. Did I mention I was wearing purple spandex, a swim suit and a purple towel cape?

Around every corner he was there, gaining speed. Sometimes I think he was even mocking me. Was this really happening? I was starting to feel a bit winded but I carried on. This was important. I threw out all my ideas about cheating and focused on how I was going to beat this old man. 

Slow and steady, slow and steady. You will not get beaten by a 60 year old. You will not get beaten by a 60 year old.

The end of the race was nearing. I poured on all the steam I had left. He was still no more than 10 yards behind me. 

Do it Kerry, do it. 

I finished ahead of the birthday boy!

And yet somehow I found it hard to celebrate. Just like you can’t be proud of taking candy from a baby, I couldn’t be proud of beating a sixty year old man in a three mile race. 

You live, you learn. 

My competition is in the green hoodie!

Check out that cape! Swimming Super Hero!

Perspective is Worth More Than Anything

Today's Topic: If money were no object, what experience(s) would you give your students? 

TRAVEL. 

TRAVEL! TRAVEL! TRAVEL! 

Travel is a life experience that is underrated and undervalued in the USA. It's one of those things that is just...so cliche but...life changing. I could sit here and ramble on for pages about how important it is to expand students' world view. If students understand more about their communities and communities near and far, their ability to understand, participate in and engage a global community can become a reality.

The travel can start outside of the neighborhood, a new city, a new state. ANY experience that gets students to see a larger world view and perspective. With the USA being so big, I think we often get stuck in our own little spaces. How often do we (DO YOU?) get out of our comfort zones? 

I don't think students necessarily need to leave the country to start expanding their cultural knowledge. I hadn't been to either coast until I was in college. Holy COW. SO different. East coast? I had never experienced so many different cultural groups that don't really exist in the Midwest. I had apparently never really seen real trees either; they towered over those in the Cook County forest preserves. I also thought the whole world was Catholic. I still have yet to visit Texas, and yet I have all these preconceived ideas that I hold to be true about that state.

Although never seeing a real tree until I was 20, I think I was ahead of the curve with growing up in inclusion model school districts. This afforded me to have Deaf friends, friends with autism, and encounters with students with all sorts of differences that I was able to add to my knowledge bank. I felt this left me more prepared for my future than others who seem to flounder when meeting people with varying cultural backgrounds and experiences.

Sometimes in my day-to-day encounters or in reading encounters of others on the news, I wonder how some people can be so seemingly closed-minded. Why as a populace are we so unwilling to see another's viewpoint, compromise, and move forward, better than we were before? Our perspectives are limited and focused on ourselves. ME. ME. ME. Broadening horizons can help this singular world, but is not the an answer in itself. Having traveled to a few different parts of the world myself I can say that the USA is not alone in sometimes being isolated from the new ideas and larger perspective of an international stage.

I find that my peers that live in more cosmopolitan places, whether it be New York City or London, are often able to understand and transcend situations far quicker and with more breadth than others. I think they just encounter and learn to accept more difference on a daily basis based on their geography and that they have been afforded the opportunities to see many places and communities both near and far.

My Junior year of High School my AP English Teacher lead a class trip to Ireland. I'm not exactly sure how I pulled off going. To this day I still am not sure why my grandma agreed to foot the 2,5000$ bill as she wasn't overly well-off or generous, but the tables turned, and I am forever grateful for the opportunity. Just this one little step to a culture seemingly very similar to my own, made me realize just how different little things can be. It was actually my first time stepping foot in an Ocean. Other people don't eat cereal for breakfast? After seeing the beauty and peace of Ireland along with some sheep, castles and W.B. Yeats' grave, we traveled to Belfast and Northern Ireland. We toured a lot of old war zones, protest sites and memorials. People still seemed very bitter. I didn't have the maturity to realize at the time, I had to instead visit 8 years later, to understand that the reason it was so cold, dark, and dreary is because the people were recovering. It was 2003 the violence had literally JUST finally ended after decades two years previously.

During college I worked at a summer camp in Maine with staff from all over the world. We'd spend hours talking about our cultural differences and argue about important world issues like how to say "Adidas", "aluminum", and the proper word for using the "bathroom." Even talk like this opened up my perspective on how these individual lived somewhat different lives than I did.

By this time I thought I was a cultural expert. I had friends that were European and Japanese and Australian. Then, I arrived in Imsil, South Korea to teach English. I have never felt so uncomfortable in my entire life. These people had never in their lives seen an American. If they had, they weren't women with blue eyes and curly blonde hair. Everyone stared. Kids came up and literally petted me. Walking down the street, everyone would stop and stare. They literally turn all the way around. No amount of eye contact would make them avert their eyes. They'd keep going. For minutes. Someone told me the old men (ajusshis) who started the longest thought I was a Russian prostitute. It took me two weeks to leave my house alone and learn to ignore the stares. Here, in this very rural countryside, there were advertisements plastered everywhere for the best dog soup in town and where to go to sign-up for a mail-order bride. Men drank excessively. They beat their wives. I lived next to the dog cages and worked with a Filipino woman who married a Korean farmer to find a better life for herself. My life in the USA had been hard when I left. Korea was even harder for me. I'd complain. I stopped the day she told me she was willing to up and leave her 7 year old child to escape her life that wasn't much better than the one she had tried to escape in the Philippines. Perspective is worth more than anything.

I traveled to Japan and Hong Kong. I learned more about the World Wars in one afternoon in a museum in Hong Kong than I did in my entire school career. Why? The story wasn't told from the American perspective. I also understood why some older Koreans hated the Japanese so, so very much. Their wounds were still raw, 50 years later. I never really understood the gravity of those wars and their impact on REAL people. After this museum visit I remember wondering...how could I make the world and it's history come alive to my students? Do they really have to be 24 and traveling alone in Asia to understand these things?

I have been plenty of places, places I couldn't have dreamed of going as a high schooler. I literally remember standing in the Dublin airport saying I will never, ever be here again. I was wrong.

I know I am not an expert. There are so many places I haven't been, would like to go, or wouldn't. Yet, my worldview is broad. Ok, I like to think it is, I want it to be, I try to make it so. I try to see the world from the viewpoint of others. I try to understand their lived experiences, their opinions and how they've come to hold them. So often we look at the world in black and white, right and wrong, republican and democrat, good and evil, our side and their side. We try and put our encounters and experiences into their appropriate boxes. They are the good guys and those are the bad guys. Why? Says who? Having the ability to step back and examine and weigh all the facts, all the biases, and all the history before drawing an independent conclusion, doesn't happen as often as it should. I would say hardly ever on the nightly or morning news cycles.

This openness, this questioning, weighing different viewpoints, that perspective is what our students need. This is REALLY what Common Core Standards are trying to get at. Yet, without these real-world experiences, whatever they turn out to be, I think many students are really missing out. I think the more experiences and variety we can provide students with, even if the deeper understandings also require maturity, the better and more productive WORLD citizens they can and will become.

Heartstring Students

I think each student tugs a little on our heart strings. They do on mine, always for very different reasons. Names sometimes escape me as the years pass, but there are students ingrained forever in my memory. Most students that have impacted me the most have been in a Special Education Program. Maybe they are more unique, their stories more evident, their needs greater, or more needing of a voice.

Jack: 

My first teaching gig. Jack was in Kindergarten. The IEP team had spent the entire year trying to get divorced parents, teachers and team members to agree on the right plan for Jack. I was a part of that plan as his 1:1 aide for the last 6 weeks of the school year. Jack had an ED/BD label and would lash out at teachers and classmates when he felt he didn't have control of a situation. I often think about Jack and how he has grown since.

Jack loved to draw and we often drew together. This was my thank you/goodbye card to him

Self Contained Autism Classroom: 

So many lovely students. So many stories. So much to overcome. So emotionally and physically draining everyday. So worth it.

This classroom served both high functioning and low functioning students with Autism, thus, many students in this classroom were not having their needs met, or their needs could have been served better in a different placement or environment. Since, I am positive many of these students have moved to other placements and received additional supports.

Being in this classroom I truly gained experience in what it means to be human. Imagine everyday being unable to communicate basic needs, like a compulsion to vacuum the entire classroom, so you pinch people until they figure out what you want. Screaming for an hour because you wanted the balloon. Learning how to take turns and learning how to be a student. Being so incredibly smart but lacking social and verbal cues to have those around you understand. Each student in this class has a story that continued on without me, but I do wonder where they are now and how each student has grown and developed and navigated the big world around them.

My First SPED Caseload:

It's only been a few weeks, but there are still students I think about daily. John. Navigating the world reading at a 1st grade level, but being so street smart and hardworking and kind and wanting to find success around every corner. Lauren, a kind, quiet, wise soul, almost too wise for her years, battling social anxiety, but also enjoying her self created solitude. I hope the world has great things in store for her. Jacob, an enigma as big as the Encyclopedia Britannica. Joey. Just Joey. Christian, Wendy, Samantha, Leilani, Mia, Johnny, Leonel, Lautaro, Angel. I hope the world is also kind to them. Almost like the children I don't have. I hope they treat the world well and in turn they are rewarded with kindness and success. They all deserve it.
So many of these 13 students made great progress over the year, but so many obstacles lay ahead of them that I can't be there to help them navigate. I hope I taught them well. Their names, like after a long weekend, are already fading. But all 13 outlines of their faces remain etched in my consciousness. As I know this story will repeat itself. Each shaping me as an educator, teaching me.  I hope I have done the same.

BTBC Day 8: Favorite Books

Topic: Favorite Childhood Books

Man, I loved to read. I would read all the time, anywhere. I'd stay up all night. I'd read under tables. My biggest complaint growing up was that I didn't have some huge stereotypical tree to read under. Yes, I actually complained about that! All we had were corn fields and tiny newly planted trees. Now I go back and visit my mom and our backyard tree is breathtaking!

Photo of the disappointing tree when I (on the left) was 4

Photo of said disappointing tree when I was 24

When I was Little

I don't really recall too many picture books. I do know my parents read to us. Maybe they loved it, but maybe it was torturous having to read three separate books before bed. I think the hard part came when it was our turn to read to them and we'd always pick the long ones!

My brother was a reluctant reader and he would check out only one book from the library when my sister and I would check out the number we were allowed which was equal to our ages. So when we were 7 we could potentially leave the library with 21 books! The author that finally connected with my brother was  Richard Scary, i think it helped that there might have been some cartoon that went along with it, but I still remember him getting excited about reading those books and trying to hide it, and I wasn't wise back then like I am now, but always observant!

My mom would take us to the library every two weeks. She hated those overdue fines, but we were sooo good at racking them up! She'd also take us to the discount book store and we'd each get to pick one book to buy! Maybe I remember wrong and we went less often, but it was a time all three of us looked forward to an enjoyed. I came across a great article that kind of sums up that my mom (the first grade teacher) did at least one thing right, which is she got her kids to love reading without them realizing it!

I really liked Swimmy. (All Leo Leoni really.) We passed this book down on my high school swim team to the best generation leader. I got it! One of the highlights if my swimming career! The 2nd was winning the first ever MVP aware for team spirit!

I pushed myself to read chapter books because my sister started in 1st grade, that smarty pants. The first book I read in first was Jog Frog, Jog. I was SO proud of myself. I think I actually stapled the book to my 4th grade All About Me Poster. I held on to it through high school, but I think it's lost to the ages now.

But by 2nd grade I was reading those Baby-sitter's Club books right alongside my sister!  Except maybe they were a little hard for me because I took to calling my sister an idot, a word I misread. Apparently, I had meant to call her an idiot.

I also read all the Little House on the Prairie books. My 4th grade teacher read the first one and I was hooked! I also loved John Bellairs Mystery novels...ooh and Encyclopedia Brown! The problem with most of these authors and books was that they were popular in the early late70's and Early 80's. I distinctly remember being frustrated that the authors of these books were dead, dying, or retired and they weren't writing MORE books for me to read!

I also loved the "classics." I devoured them. I remember reading Gulliver's Travels, Tom Sawyer, Oliver Twist, Huckleberry Fin, Little Women, Moby Dick, any I could find!  I had to do a little searching to find out exactly what I was reading back then, but apparently they are called "Great Illustrated Classics" and are big business on ebay. Somehow, one day after a line of questioning to my mom, I discovered that these texts were written for kids and weren't the "real" thing. Silly me!

I was a little disappointed that I wasn't reading the real thing and the accomplishments I thought I had been making felt tarnished a little. In adulthood, I did make it a point to re-read the ones that had really impacted me.

In middle school I read all the Rebecca Caudill books every year. My claim to fame was that I read Harry Potter before it was popular, in 1997! The school Librarian personally recommended it to me. La.De.Da. In 7th and 8th grade I really got into Walter Dean Meyers. My favorite was The Glory Field which examined the history of slavery.

As an Adult

I've made an effort to expand my readings. I minored in English in college so I read a lot then, my favorite author was Kurt Vonnegut.

But, I might have read more in the year I spent abroad in a Korea. I couldn't watch TV and lived in a very rural area where no one spoke English. I read to pass the time and to jump back into the magical reality of another world, when my reality left something to be desired.

 The only titles available there were really "classics" or "pop culture" novels. So I'd switch between a Dan Brown or Sofie Kinsella books and a classic. During this time the absolute best books I read were John Steinbeck's East of Eden and Gabriel Marquez' 100 Years of Solitude and Love in the Time of Cholera. The best pop culture book was The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

                                                                                   

What's next???

One More Point

I haven't been "taken away" by a book or author, really, since then. I WANT to be transported. Captured. I want to be moved.

I'm not sure if I'm lacking the time, or if I need a more care and stress free environment, or maybe the appropriate author or book has yet to be found.

Either way, I'm still looking. 

BTBC Day 7: Positive Mental Attitude

I'm really not feeling that motivated to write today.

But I've had a good streak going.
Funny thing, I'm not outwardly competitive, but inwardly I am. I am currently sitting here beating myself up.

Voice in my head: 

Kerry, you made a promise to yourself. You accepted a challenge! You're going to quit just like that? You didn't even miss a day over the 4th of July weekend when all you had was your phone and a shoddy signal! You're going to let a blah average day get you down? That's all? 

God I'm tough on myself. All this just to say that I did it. Prove it to myself. Add it to my shelf.

So here I am. I started writing about books. But that post is already long and I want to find cool pictures and really shine it up. And it's already 8:45.

Sometimes the hardest thing for me about writing is not saying everything that's going on in my head and my life at the very exact moment I feel it or it's happening. I'd love to recap my entire day and just exactly why it was so blah but, Impulse control. Self control. Knowledge of audience. Sometimes I'll write it all out anyway, so I'll feel better, then delete. But I'm tired.

I have been thinking a lot about PMA. A fellow blogger, that after 15 minutes of searching, I discovered was +Colleen Noffsinger over at Literacy Loving Gals. Her post  about PMA really got me thinking.

Thinking about how important it is.
Thinking about how our kids need it. (I discovered way too late in the year how little one student on my caseload thought of herself.) We all need reminders of the importance of PMA and self confidence and I spent the rest of the year reinforcing this in my classroom.
Thinking about how WE need it.
How I need it.

I kind of have a pffffft attitude toward PMA at times. This is because some of my swim coaches growing up would tout it as the solution to everything. PMA is what was going to make me the greatest athlete of all time! PMA, combined with (and what they left out was) any trace of natural talent, which I lacked entirely.

Yet, I find myself coming back to PMA.
In life, there are so many things I can't control.
Yet I can control my attitude and how I react in the face of challenge, adversity and good times.
I can control my PMA. I can chant to myself PMA, PMA, PMA!

I'm going to steal +Colleen Noffsinger 's image as well!

Here's to tomorrow and a PMA!

+Michelle Brezek  totally knocked it out of the park in the comments, articulating even more what I wanted to say in my post, so I'll add her wisdom here! This quote is so applicable to students learning their way in life for the first time and a great reminder to us adults out there who need reminders sometimes!

Big Time Blogging Challenge Day 6: Sweet Summer

This Summer = SAVE MONEY

So Instead I will talk about...

Previous Summers: 

In the last two summers, I have taken two amazing "dream-level" vacations. Last year we traversed Europe seeing London, Paris, Marseilles, Cannes, Nice, and Champagne France, Monaco, Milan, Italy, and Switzerland. The year before we saw the best of Southern California, starting in San Francisco, driving down the coast to Santa Barbra and then up to Yosemite National Park where we hiked Half Dome. My reward for the hike was a night in Napa Valley before returning home. Yes. I'm very spoiled, but maybe Gordon had a plan, woo me early with the dream vacations...Love him either way!

Overlooking Yosemite Valley. I had hiked that big thing lurking in the background the previous day and climbing the few steps up to where this picture is taken took me five minutes of groaning about how I can't bend my legs! 

How to keep me happy? Hike an hour, then stop for snacks! Then hike another hour and more snacks! Switzerland is really good for that! There is even a train to take you down the mountain, unlike the other picture above! 

Each past summer I have also stopped in Maine and worked as a camp counselor teaching swim lessons for a week to a few weeks to the whole summer! This is the first summer since 2006 I won't be there! I really miss camp and hope I can find something a little bit closer to home where I can still make an impact, perhaps with kids with special needs, AND play outside all day! Let me know if you have any leads near the western suburbs of Chicago!

So, in a way, this summer has been hard. Poor me, I know. Ha! Saving money is hard! But on the bright side, slowing down a bit  this summer has allowed me many opportunities. First to do this challenge, read some books and blogs, and just investigate and try new things that I would otherwise be too busy to even think about. Fiddling takes time! So this summer has been full of Professional development at it's finest with School work, cleaning work, and becoming an excellent chef!

In the meantime while Gordon and I are busy making small plans for the present and big plans for the future, we are trying to enjoy our weekends and extend them if possible! We spent time with family at a lake house for the 4th,  and there are plenty of wedding weekends past and present!

 I signed Gordon up for his first ever 5K on July 19th so we've been working on running! WEEEEE!!! Hopefully, I'll have a success picture to post!

 Lastly, if we find the time this summer, we hope to spend some time driving and camping around lake Michigan. Gordon did it as a kid and wants to show me how awesome it is. Too cute!

Just like life, summer is fleeting! I am trying to remind myself to look to the future but live in the moment and enjoy and remember how very lucky and blessed I am to be living my life each day.

Big Time Blogging Challenge - Day 4

My Family

I know I'm behind on topics but this one is an important one not to skip! 

Where to begin? I guess my fun all about me fact is that I always has handy and never has to think to hard about is that I'm at triplet. It's kind of cool being one and I joke all the time now that I'm going to have triplets some day! Hahha. Growing up I always had  a friend, whether they liked it and wanted to or not. Seeing as I have a German last name and my mom is 100% Irish, the compromise my parents made was that we'd all have Irish names. Kerry, William (Bill), and Erin. I am the oldest and we pretty much fit perfectly into the stereotypical roles of oldest, my brother as the jilted middle child, and my sister as the baby!

Now on to the love of my life, Gordon. We've been together for about 3 years. We met through mutual friends once, then a whole year later we met again and I wasn't going to let him get away a 2nd time! Now each family gathering is a new opportunity for my aunts to nag and pressure him about ring buying in creative ways! And I'm pressuring him that it's time for us to get a dog!! Soon for both!!! :) He's awesome, amazingly supportive, should win an some sort of patience award, funny, perfect etc! Loving every minute with him! 

Last but not least, my mom! She is the rock of our family and an all around great person. My sister likes to remind me that I'm becoming more and more like her everyday, first I roll my eyes and say absolutely not, but the more I think about it, it's probably not such a bad thing. She taught first grade on the South Side of Chicago, mostly first grade, for 38 years! She's been retired for two, and is loving retirement! And oops! Can't forget my mom's dog stubs! She even has her own twitter account @stubsoftheday (run by my sister) where you can get your fill off cuteness! 

BTBC Day 5

Topic: Favorite sports teams

Zero. 

When I was little I loved the Bulls, but I also thought it was normal that your sports team won every year. My parents would take us to Sox games, maybe because they grew up on the south side, and maybe because the tickets were cheap. When I was 10 I went to a game and for some reason fell in love with Frank Thomas and decided I wanted to marry him. I've since moved on.

Later, my brother turned out to be a Cubs fan so I would learn a fun fact or two about their current stats to help relate a bit more to him. I also liked that Kerry Wood, their pitcher for a few years, and I shared the same name.

I went to a small liberal arts college so not much team pride there. Goooooo TITANS!!!! I was a distance swimmer in college and my events were the 500, 1000 and 1650 free. These are the events that everyone leaves to get snacks for, or it's bathroom time. Sometimes they are run between sessions to an empty house. Thus, distance swimmers are all friends and we'd cheer each other on! Swimming as fast as you can for twenty straight minutes alone is not easy! We'd make our coach so mad encouraging and cheering on the "enemy"! Being a swimmer from age 6-22 and even coaching the little guys from time to time didn't improve my interest in sports. Ask me what Michael Phelps is up to or if Natalie Coglin ( I think that's how you spell it) qualified in something I'll have no idea.

However, I do love the bandwagon, I'll hop on and support and pretend to be interested. Most recently the Blackhawks and the World Cup.

.

 I also love ANY excuse I can get to get together with my friends and eat snacks!

Every now and again we will go to a sporting event. Gordon and I took our moms to a Cubs game for Mother's Day and Gordon took me to the Bears game with tickets he got from work. But again, I'm more interested in where to obtain the peanuts and how best to get the hot dog guy's attention, than actually watching the game.

I think my lack of sports enthusiasm stems from my non-competitive nature. I just want everyone to have fun! If I can rig  a relay race when coaching so every team is a winner and can feel that success, I'm a happy coach!

The other day I was playing the game Clue, with some more competitive friends. I accidentally messed up a turn and essentially changed the outcome of the game by accident. We almost stopped playing the game we put an hour into because of this. Me though? Uhh... Just take another go? Skip me? It's the same? Free kick? Don't care.

I'm not sure how I feel about my own nonchalant demeanor. Competition can be healthy and encourage athletes to rise above ther own perceived abilities. For me through, the importance of competition lies in the comrardery of a team, working together to achieve a common goal and heightened work ethic.

How this translates into a classroom? Competition can get students excited and engaged but emphasizing the benefits of the process and not the outcome is my goal. If I can manage it, everyone that is a team player is a winner in Miss Sindewald's Room! 

Identity and Self Representation in the Digital Age

Identity and Self Representation in the Digital Age

Don't worry, that clever post title wasn't my creation. That was the the title of the first course I took in my undergraduate education. The class explored how we represent and/or change ourselves online especially people who took on new identities and had trouble deciphering digital from real life. In 2004 I thought it was a load of hogwash. My final paper, which I was immensely proud of, disputed the book central to the course, which I later found out was written by an acclaimed MIT professor, deservingly only received a B- . Now, the importance of Identity and self representation and controlling it online, rings more true to me every day.

Google: Search Engine to my Soul

Why do I find the internet to be such a scary place? Why am I so apprehensive? Because, get ready. There is only ONE of me. Go ahead, search my name. Ok. Don’t. I know you will anyway. But there is only me. Type me into google, type me in to twitter. Just Me. Maybe other family members will be dispersed throughout the search results with other people named Kerry, but mostly me. I just joined Vimeo to post a video, now that’s the top hit.

You can find me a few pounds heavier in a santa hat, at college friends’ weddings who sent the pictures in to the alumni magazine. You can learn about 5K’s I ran and my times for races I swam in college 5 years ago.  You can find out that I coach/ed for a swim teach called the Joliet Jets and that I’ve donated on behalf of friends to charities! GO ME!! You can figure out my previous employers and various educational websites I don’t remember joining. You can find my dad’s obituary.

I signed up for indulgy.com to get one cool PDF for teaching something or other. I think it is a knockoff of Pinterest, either way, I can’t delete myself from the website, and I don’t really like the name of the website. Indulgy? Ugh. Also, I have a MySpace??? SINCE WHEN!!!???

When I first signed up for Pinterest I didn’t realize that the default had google crawl your pins. Why had I joined Pinterest? To find low-cal margarita recipes for a summer party. How did I find out google was crawling my pins? Every now and again I will google myself for “safety”. Sure enough, the first hit was Kerry S pinned 5 low calorie, alcoholic drinks. Big Deal? Except when you teach Middle School and kids google your name more than they turn in their homework!  

I also can’t comment on public Facebook boards. There is my comment complaining about poor customer service for the whole world to see and judge me on.  Other people post to social media profiles and I feel like they might have an easier time. There are plenty of reasons to look people up on Social Media. YOU KNOW. Hmm… How many Tiffany Russells can there be? I don’t want the one it St. Petersburg Florida… Hmmm.  So even if Tiffany Russell is a horrible person who kicks dogs for fun, she is safe. Even typing that I feel bad, like I could get some Tiffany Russell out there in trouble. Yet, my low-cal margarita recipe could have me in hot water! I’m even still wary of letting friends of friends see my Facebook pictures, but I have to live a little! I’m relieved social media wasn’t around when I was a preteen/teenager. I am a shining example of why you should be able to control your digital footprint. I’m embarrassed by stuff I wrote/posted 5 years ago...when I was an ADULT!

Concluding Thoughts

I’m hyper afraid of being judged for simple things that are no big deal in my personal life making their way into my professional life and having a co-worker, parent, student or administrator make assumptions about my standing as a person and professional. Oh, I know I’m blowing this a little out of proportion, but when you live your life loudly, and there’s only one you, people are going to notice!

Join us! 

Big Time Blogging Challenge- Day 1

Challenge

Thanks to Michelle at Big Time Literacy for starting this challenge!

I have been off and on-but mostly off again blogging since 2008. Before Michelle put out this challenge, I had been contemplating blogging again. Recently, I had been reading, or tweeting, or saving various how-two, pointers, etc. for how to blog on the off chance that I might get motivated someday. Mona put it aptly in her tweet to me after I re-tweeted one too many blogging articles-"find my voice, my angle, and go!"

Then, Big Time Literacy started this challenge and I had zero excuses left. Yet, I'm still unsure. I always have plenty to say. I have a plenty loud voice, but I’m not sure what my “angle” is and why that matters.

Learning, Teaching, and Living Loudly

Why this blog title? I have always lived my life out LOUD. I've wished, and tried at points in my life to "be quieter", more reserved, and to blend in. Yet, despite any efforts to the contrary, I have a laugh you can hear anywhere in the building, a voice that carries down the hallway and a personality that transcends boundaries. I just love everyone! Living life loudly is not always easy. First, some people do not like loud. Second, my mistakes are heard loud and clear. Despite these drawbacks, living loudly has provided me many opportunities for professional and personal growth, leadership and making a difference in the lives of my friends, family, students and co-workers. So here I am on my own self-created stage, learning, reflecting, revising, and repeating, for all to hear. Living my life with good intentions, Loudly.

Previous Writing and Blogging Attempts

My first writing experience, my final semester of undergrad, that made me believe I could be a writer was an assignment to write my autobiography. Mine was titled: A Day, or Maybe a Couple of Days, in the life of Kerry: Sometime, and in no Particular Order. It was 40 pages in Microsoft word. Recap: Best stories from 4 years of college. I emailed it to all my friends and had a few copies printed out for the casual reader that came by.

My first blog titled “Kerry in Korea” was about an adventurous year overseas teaching English in the rural Korean countryside and traveling around a bit afterwards. Recap: After this, I can do anything. My 2nd blog, aptly named “Kerry in Kindergarten”, was about my year spent as an aide in three Kindergarten classrooms that each had 30 five-year-olds. That equals 90 five year olds! The recap: Lots of cuteness, teacher gossip, and cleaning up bodily fluids. My last spin off, "Just Kerry" contained a few posts about a year spent in a self contained autism classroom. Recap: Bruises and Bodily fluids.

While re-telling stories about just barely beating a 65 year old man while dressed as a swimming super hero in a Halloween 5K, culture shock, the case of the phantom pooper and about a student I code-named “pinchy”, could at times make for interesting, entertaining or even hilarious commentary, that’s where it ended. These were the types of stories that you could tell over and over at the water-cooler, dinner table, or family party when you run out of other more important things to talk about. Even though I had the best of intentions when writing and thought carefully about what I wrote, I was also always worried about having a laugh about school things in a public place. What if the phantom pooper’s mom reads this blog (with 3 followers)? Whose expense is a laugh for? I still wonder who cares what I have to say and where is the public/personal line? Who cares about my thoughts on my personal writing journey? There are no takebackskies on the internet and I want what I put other here in the future to have no uncertainty about it’s quality and value.

Blogging Take Two Four

I’ve been told I could be a stand-up comedian on more than a few occasions. (REALLY!) Yet, besides the fact that my in-person joke/story presentation is horrendous, I don’t really want to be a comedian. I like sharing and storytelling, but I want to teach, influence, and make an impact, (all while having an awesome time). In each of my previous blogging attempts, I was the observer, recording what I saw around me and describing what happened TO me. Even if I don’t yet know what my “angle” is with this challenge, I think I do know that I want whatever I end up writing about to engage and contribute to a bigger idea. I know I need this purpose to keep me going. My posts can still be funny, but I want my posts to involve, motivate, or intrigue others. I’m not sure how I’ll get there. I’m not sure how interesting or helpful I’ll be. My goal is to take Michelle’s challenge and go from there. I explained the challenge to my boyfriend, G, and I was having a hard time convincing myself, let alone him, that I could make it the whole month! Yet, here’s to DAY 1!

Join The Challenge!