Heartstring Students

I think each student tugs a little on our heart strings. They do on mine, always for very different reasons. Names sometimes escape me as the years pass, but there are students ingrained forever in my memory. Most students that have impacted me the most have been in a Special Education Program. Maybe they are more unique, their stories more evident, their needs greater, or more needing of a voice.

Jack: 

My first teaching gig. Jack was in Kindergarten. The IEP team had spent the entire year trying to get divorced parents, teachers and team members to agree on the right plan for Jack. I was a part of that plan as his 1:1 aide for the last 6 weeks of the school year. Jack had an ED/BD label and would lash out at teachers and classmates when he felt he didn't have control of a situation. I often think about Jack and how he has grown since.

Jack loved to draw and we often drew together. This was my thank you/goodbye card to him

Self Contained Autism Classroom: 

So many lovely students. So many stories. So much to overcome. So emotionally and physically draining everyday. So worth it.

This classroom served both high functioning and low functioning students with Autism, thus, many students in this classroom were not having their needs met, or their needs could have been served better in a different placement or environment. Since, I am positive many of these students have moved to other placements and received additional supports.

Being in this classroom I truly gained experience in what it means to be human. Imagine everyday being unable to communicate basic needs, like a compulsion to vacuum the entire classroom, so you pinch people until they figure out what you want. Screaming for an hour because you wanted the balloon. Learning how to take turns and learning how to be a student. Being so incredibly smart but lacking social and verbal cues to have those around you understand. Each student in this class has a story that continued on without me, but I do wonder where they are now and how each student has grown and developed and navigated the big world around them.

My First SPED Caseload:

It's only been a few weeks, but there are still students I think about daily. John. Navigating the world reading at a 1st grade level, but being so street smart and hardworking and kind and wanting to find success around every corner. Lauren, a kind, quiet, wise soul, almost too wise for her years, battling social anxiety, but also enjoying her self created solitude. I hope the world has great things in store for her. Jacob, an enigma as big as the Encyclopedia Britannica. Joey. Just Joey. Christian, Wendy, Samantha, Leilani, Mia, Johnny, Leonel, Lautaro, Angel. I hope the world is also kind to them. Almost like the children I don't have. I hope they treat the world well and in turn they are rewarded with kindness and success. They all deserve it.
So many of these 13 students made great progress over the year, but so many obstacles lay ahead of them that I can't be there to help them navigate. I hope I taught them well. Their names, like after a long weekend, are already fading. But all 13 outlines of their faces remain etched in my consciousness. As I know this story will repeat itself. Each shaping me as an educator, teaching me.  I hope I have done the same.